Does It Make Sense to Prepare for. . . the Zombie Apocalypse?

I don’t know how I came across this article with the unlikely title of ‘The Surprisingly Solid Mathematical Case of the Tin Foil Hat Gun Prepper Or, “Who Needs an AR-15 Anyway?”’  Maybe via Instapundit.  But is a bit of a wake-up call.

I shouldn’t admit this, but I don’t own any guns.  Not one.  But this fellow BJ Campbell’s analysis of the likelihood of untoward events (read disasters!) is pretty chilling.  If not floods (we are actually in a floodplain), hurricanes, earthquakes, etc., then violent mobs, insurrection, civil war, invasion. . .  Heck, given the increasing craziness of the wild-eyed, hysterical Left, not to mention black-masked Antifa hoodlums, it’s beginning to look like we’re getting close.

BJ Campbell is writing about ‘Preppers’.  I never heard the word, but I guess it’s shorthand for ‘Preparers’, like the Survivalists we used to read about.  The rich ones have underground bunkers with every conceivable convenience.  That won’t be us, but we needn’t be helpless.  Though it’s tempting to say, “If one of these things happens, you’re screwed anyway!”  Mr  Campbell responds:

Well, sure. The point of disaster planning for a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, or wildfire, is not to be “not-screwed.” It’s to be notably less screwed.  Ready.gov is the central point for information about family disaster preparedness planning here in the US. They list a wide range of things they think you might want to prepare for. Chief among these is flooding, which is my field [he’s an hydrologist], but they also list many other things an alarmist might include in their family disaster preparedness plan, from volcanoes and tsunamis to space debris, nukes, and terrorist dirty bombs. Violent nation-state transition doesn’t make the list, though, because the list was compiled by the government. But the best one to prepare for, in my opinion, is zombies.

Zombie Apocalypse_The zombie apocalypse is obviously pure fiction, but it has an allure to a few tongue-in-cheek preppers because of its functional completeness. If you are prepared for zombies, you are literally prepared for anything. The key fixture of zombie preparedness is a fundamental understanding of what happens when our systems of economics, governance, and civil infrastructure fail. There’s a great one going on right now in Venezuela, with people eating rats and dogs, incapable of trading in the local currency, and a general humanitarian disaster associated with descent into anarchy. No class of person is more capable of riding out a situation like that than a well-provisioned zombie prepper. Various fixtures of zombie prepping include:

  • Food stockpiles
  • Access to clean (or cleanable) water
  • Shelter that exists away from the zombies (a.k.a. other citizens)
  • Subsistence agriculture
  • Medicinal supplies
  • A way to defend items 1–5. In modern terms, that means firearms. Rifles in particular.
  • Optional: Escape method. Sailboats rank highly on any objective list here.

For the ethical zombie prepper, firearms are a relatively small piece of this overall disaster plan, but a necessary one. For an unethical zombie prepper, firearms may be all they need, if they can find someone else from whom to steal.

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